July 31, 2009

The Fenris Wolf Shall Devour

Justin Marik is my (Latin/Czech) name given at birth, meaning "Justice within the Warlike"; my (Swedish) middle name as reincarnation of my grandfather is Carl, meaning "Freeman"! Ironically, considering I'm a heathen, it was Saint Justin who declared the gods were Devilish illusions.

I am (known by the Norse mononym) Tyrvald, "powerful by Tyr", for chained up within my mind is a beast like (the wolf destined to kill Odin) Fenrisúlfur, my alter ego, a chaotic traumatized inner-child buried undead within my subconscious. Unlike Tyr, Sky God of justice and war, my sacrifice to bind the wolf within has been my sanity! I have yet to lose an arm protecting my tribe as he did binding Fenrir, but I bear psychic wounds and physical scars from wrestling to maintain my lucidity.

Everyone has demons but these are neither supernatural nor do they possess us. Within our brains lie haunting memories which can flashback like nightmares! Are we not at our own mercy if we choose to destroy ourselves? I've been trying to find peace while myself tries to kill us both. I live life feeling that Justin died long ago, that he is little more than a ghost lost in the past... raging to manifest in the future!

My cruel alcoholic (now dry-drunk) father murdered me over a decade ago, yet I live to speak of it. I am today a young priest of Gullveig, who was thrice burnt (by the Aesir) in the first war, yet she lives transformed into Heidh: the witch goddess! Vanadís (this protective spirit of the Vanir) is the Lady, Freyja of the Brísingamen.


July 20, 2009

Unsustainable Arrogance

The Earth has suffered greater chaos in the past thousand years than we have experienced since the previous mass extinction. That rate of extinction has never been higher, humans have never been more abundant and have never eaten more flesh. Can we awake from this self-generated nightmare and arise as the morning Sun?

Our species has perhaps never hated itself the way we do now. In the past year, America has shed her tyrant but not her empire. Worldwide racism and sexual repression have seemed to peek, due to overpopulation and unsustainable ecology. The Internet allows an exchange of ideas but this has not led to any sense of peace. Fevered minds tormented by the dead and their echoed screams fight to end war and genocide but can apparently do little to end this paralyzing sense of helplessness.

We stand defiant if we stand at all, yet we fall as autumn leaves, cut down with bullets like gusts of terrible wind. Will counter-culture survive the disintegration of human society? If so, we shall return to an Eden of organic plenty and the voices of forgotten goddesses will empower us to overthrow the delusional cancer of corporate monotheism. Monetary wealth, the result of greed, must no longer be viewed as reward from "the One God"! True wealth is enough to share!

The cosmic source of matter, energy and equilibrium came before any of the gods... or after the annihilation of their previous forms and the cooling of distant worlds. Truth lies in contradiction, while lies fall from absolutism. When we acknowledge that we know little at all, we shall not fear the process of learning. When we remember how small we have always been, we will not fear the expansion of space and time! Effectively we are at the point where a dark age becomes an enlightenment.